Today, something terrible happened. I had to take away Warawi’s Native dog.
This is what happened:
Today, Warawi’s Native Dog kept on following me, and captain saw her. He asked me if it was a Native Dog. I couldn’t lie, so I told him “Yes, sir.” As soon as I said that, I knew I had said something wrong. The captain shouted: “We’re going to catch a native dog!” So I had to catch Warawi’s dog.
When we got there, I tried to warn Warawi, but she thought it was a game, and tried to play along.
But then she saw the soldiers, and she jumped behind the tree as quick as lightning.
When I took her dog away, I could sense that she was sad. I was sad too.
When we got back to camp, the captain told me to take care of her dog, but I wasn’t in the mood of doing that. But then, I saw Warawi hiding behind a bush. Warawi? I said to Myself. Suddenly, a stone came hurtling towards me. I forgot to dodge, and it hit the dead centre of my forehead.
Then stones were hurtled at other soldiers too. We’re under attack! Cried a soldier. Captain came out. Oh no, now you’ve got yourself in big trouble, Warawi.
Hi Apple, I liked your writing because as I read it I got very interested in the style you were writing and in the way you used your adjectives. But the problem was that you used direct speech in a diary entry which is not an appropriate style for writing diary entries.
Darsh